so i guess the first i should explain a little about myself...i wont bore you with the past so here is the short version...ill fill in when needed.
i am a 36 year old drop out of a "tech" film school in dallas texas, i have recently moved back in with my mom to try to figure out where the fuck I'm going now with my life...no i don't live in a basement, I'm not that pathetic yet. And as of right now I'm still under the 200 pound mark and a full head of hair...but if i don't start figuring out what the fuck i want to do with my life i fear that will be my future...puttering about in house shoes and hygiene far out the window...this is the future i do not want to fall into...the guy at the bus stop that talks to everybody because he has pushed everyone in his life away from bitterness and generic anger....
Generic Anger...that's a good phrase...i used to have specific anger, honed to a laser point at this or that. i could cut the stupid in twain with my light saber of truth...spit words like a ninjas throw stars...and i used to use it for good too, at least that's what i told myself...but in the last couple of years i feel i have become a former shell of myself...how does that happen? how do you lose your anger, the gumption that made you get up on your soapbox and point at some bastard that does people wrong and call them out on there bullshit...the drive that makes you go "oh fuck that!" is it age? the constant bludgeoning of life, the continuing kick to the scrotum...wow need to stop starting to sound emo here...not trying to, i guess just a little more reflective...
AH yes about me...i have had a some what career in the food industry before my railswitch to wanting to work in the entertainment industry...it was fun and lucrative but in the end i got tired of scrapping myself off the floor of some girls bathroom from the night before...taking a shower to get the last of the coke to drain down my throat and chew aspirin like tic tacs while i get back to the restaurant to do it all again...needless to say i am a man of excess...i can control the when and where i par take of the evil deeds just not the amount...i guess i looked at vices as a challenge...can i drink every budweiser in the bar...i have drugs lets do them all in one go...look at all the women, who wants to make a porno...things like that...I'm not saying its the right way but damn it was fun...and I'm not an addict, i don't wake up in sweats for this or that...lets just say moderation was not in my vocabulary...
now i am here, where here is i haven't a clue...i know where i want to go and how to get there...now i just have to get my big butt off the bench and try to give one more go at the goalie...so I'm guessing maybe if i keep this up...if i can finish just one god damn thing then maybe that will be the motivation i need to finish other aspects of my life...
so come with me on the journey of Klein...*lights cigarette* this should be fun.
